babies were throwing up all over the place
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
