I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
