Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
