i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm just crazy horny about you
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
