We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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