I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
