Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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