been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
