so that wasnt chicken after all
i love accidental penises.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
