im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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