We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
