just tell him i said nine months
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
