Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
