i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
he's single and there are thong briefs.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
