I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
