if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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