I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
