i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
