She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
