Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
