What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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