the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
