Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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