spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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