Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
