I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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