some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
