I'm going to jail i love you
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
