remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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