she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
