please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
