the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
