just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
