It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
