I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
