I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
