just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
