She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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