Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My vagina just clenched in fear
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
