You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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