I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
