The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
