If i come over, it means nothing
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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