Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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