so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
