he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
