I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
