Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
