6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
