My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
