True but thats because hes a fetus.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
