I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I need to align my fucking chakras
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
